The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize