I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize