this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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