Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am naked and annoyed.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize