everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
