Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
