Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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