He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
