three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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