Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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