So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
