real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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