I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
