I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
