if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize