For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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