How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
