who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
