um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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