I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
