This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
