I wish I could punch you in the face.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
