belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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