I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
