Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
