All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have post one night stand depression
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
