would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Success! We fucked roommates!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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