...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
