lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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