Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
