cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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