life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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