Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
