I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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