Don't you send me to vm
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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