frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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