need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
