Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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