just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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