You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
