Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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