Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
