googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
