Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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