Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
