Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize