Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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