did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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