Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
