Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
