I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize