Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
