I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
