What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
