im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
