do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
