Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
