My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
