you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
