I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
