like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
