I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
