Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize