It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
