Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
