I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
