Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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