On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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