you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
