...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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