help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
