i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
