just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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