i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
not ubering you a puppy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
