this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
